In those counseling sessions, I found out which type I had (GAD) and learned some handy coping techniques. I also talked for the first time about what I was experiencing with an adult. It changed a lot for me. I am eternally grateful that my school offered this service free of charge for students. I hope every college always offers free counseling, and I hope every kid that needs it is brave enough to grab that pamphlet and make an appointment.
I also hope everyone has a roomate like I did, who when she noticed I was always gone around the same time every week and not for a class or for work, asked me what was going on. After dodging the question for weeks, I finally confessed I was going to therapy for my anxiety. She looked at me, smiling and said, “Oh, cool. I’m really happy for you.’”
I said, “Really? You don’t think it’s weird?”
“Nah, I always knew you were crazy,” she playfully joked, and then we both burst out laughing and went to get dinner. Just like that, it was no big deal. It was nice to be accepted just as I was.
So now, here I am, a million years later, wanting to talk about it. ALL OF IT. So no one feels left out or crazy or ashamed like I did. Because as great as the help I received in my youth was, this is something I deal with on a daily basis, and always will.
But it is also only one part of me. One super inconvenient and often overwhelming part of my bad-ass self. There is a lot more to my story. And to yours, too.
So while we may anxiously fear the big bad unknown, we can also try to embrace the good stuff for as long as we can. After all, the other side to this blog is POSITIVITY. And these days, that is my main focus. I want to help us all find ways to cope so we can give more of our energy to finding our purpose, maintaining healthy relationships, and enjoying many years of good health. I’m not talking about that easy cheesy optimism, but rather a true joyful outlook. It requires acknowledging the hurt, pain, and devastating facts of our world and doing our best to process these things (and help others where we can!) while still striving for joy. It requires honesty, courage, and putting in the work. But trust me, no matter what you are feeling or where you are at in your journey, I promise you are worth the work.
So now that you know my past, let me catch you up a little on my present. I am a new mom (hello nothing but scary unknowns!), a kick-ass wife, a rock climber, hiker, & dancer.
I am a feverish night owl. TV and movies are my jam.
I am overly particular about almost everything. I ruminate and question almost everything.
Eating real food and being in nature feels like a big hug to me. Music, a well timed fart, and abundant sunshine bring me glee.
I am someone with a mental health disorder.
I am positively anxious.
Rachel is a writer and new mom based in Colorado. She studied film at Kent State University and in a past life, ran a sketch comedy group, made a parody video about boobs, and wrote a short film about love. She loves to create, and can often be found hiking in all seasons with her husband and the brightest, sweetest little girl in the world.
